Currently Listening Consent to Treatment By Blue October see related

You know what pisses me off?  When people call ME insensitive, like I'm the only one.  Ok, I might not be very sympathetic, but at least I'm open about it.  What's worse is when dumbasses act like they give a shit, but really they are just as self-absorbed as everyone else.  And ok, neglect is one thing, but when people start yelling at you for not be "sensitive" to their needs or meeting their dumb demands when you've obviously got a problem, yeah, just shut the hell up.  For example, while it might be NICE for my parents to try to take care of me or w/e when I've got a migraine, it's fine that they don't, cause it happens all the time, and frankly, we all know that I usually like to just be left alone.  But when they start screaming at me to find their fucking boyscout shirt and clean up THEIR messes while my brain is about to EXPLODE, it REALLY pisses me off.  I'm doing good to walk when it's that bad, and for christ's sake, WHAT DON"T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ABOUT "PLEASE BE QUIET!"  Or when people start complaining to me about how they had to wake up early one morning or w/e, you know what?  Don't expect me to give you any goddamn sympathy when you don't give a shit that I have chronic insomnia, so shut up, I wake up at four every morning, stop bitching.  I swear to god, some of y'all would complain about being hungry to a POW if you had the chance.  Confiding in someone because they would understand the problem is different and definitely exceptable, but could we all go ONE day without hearing about how, oh no! you had to eat breakfast 15 minutes later than usual today...  Maybe I would be a little more sympathetic toward society if it weren't always bitching at me and screwing me over.  When people ask me what I wanna be when I grow up, the response is "well, I haven't decided if I'm gonna save the world or turn my back on it."  yeah, today I definitely feel like doing the latter.  If people are just going to continue to try to destroy their neighbors through war, or, even on a smaller scale, abuse the people around them, including the ones that they "love," why the hell should anyone attempt to help this pathetic world?  Notice how we're one of the only species stupid enough to keep trying to destroy other members of that species.  Even when we aren't destroying eachother, we're neglecting eachother.  god, we're all such selfish, bitching fassholes.

Now that THIS selfish fasshole is done bitching...  Tacky souvenir shop in the Bahamas, here I come.   

hmmm... I didn't mean to add an entry here.  whoops.

I've got a funny joke...

What kind of hair does an ocean have?

WAVY!!!

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Corny jokes are the best...

If you know of any that I don't, please IM me and let me know. :)

so... I never talk about the events of my day on this thing, but today I'm gonna make an exception, cause it's a funny/weird story.

So, I'm ready to check out at randall's.  I spot the express lane and go to stand in back.  The guy in front of me (early twentiesishm, not goodlooking, but not bad either) gives me a friendly smile, so I give a half smile back.

Big mistake.

"Star Wars III.  It's gonna be great."

I look around slightly and quickly, thinking that maybe there was a magazine with anakin on the cover or something to remind him of it.  But no... apparently he's just really happy about star wars coming out and needed a conversation starter.

"yeah."

"Have you seen the..." (names some random star wars geeky cartoon thing)

"no."

"Well, you know, it's great.  Cause Lucas did IT too.  So you know, it's... coherent and everything."

"cool." (maybe if I stick to one-worded answers he'll go away or stop talking).

"You know," (apparently not) "there's just so much more you can do with animation that you can't do on the screen.  I think that might make it EVEN BETTER than the movie."

Does he think that I care? "true."

He decides to take a different approach.

"Are you shopping for your mom?"

"no." I'm shopping for myself.  I only buy myself my own shit cause if I tell someone else to get it at the grocery store they screw it up and get the wrong thing.

"oooo, you're shopping for your own place?"

"no."  I'll leave it at that.  Maybe he'll assume that I'm living with a boyfriend or something.

"You know, IIIII've got my own place."

"cool."

"It's EXPENSIVE.  That's why all I'm buying is coke."  He looks at my groceries.  "I can't get soy milk, I spend all my money on my place."

"oh."

"Or flowers, like the ones they have over there.  I like flowers."  wtf, mate?  "I think everyone should have flowers in their place."  What guy says that?!?!?

"agreed."

"But I can't get flowers."

ok, maybe if the one worded responses aren't working, something else will shut him up.  "You could grow your own flowers."

"yeah.  But where would I get the seeds?"  Go buy some for like $.50, dumbass.  "And I don't have anyone to take care of them..."  Gives me that weird/creepy look.

ok, this is getting WAY too weird.

"That sucks."

"Do you have your randall's card with you?" Thank god, the cashier saved me.

"yeah, here you go.  You don't have to put my coke in a bag." no duh!

turns to me "well..."

very quickly, "bye."

"Right, bye."

I decide to spend a couple more minutes in the store, just looking around, to make sure he's left.  By the time I leave, he already has, thank god.

Is there some sign on me or something that says, "Extreme weirdos please talk to me?"  At least the weirdo who kept hitting on me because he thought I was katie doesn't work there anymore.

I should find a different grocery store.

I've figured out what's wrong with society.

See, the first response of most girls (myself included) is blame guys for being superficial bastards who encourage girls and women to try to fit the "barbie" stereotype. 

But then I started thinking....

You know, the REAL problem is the girls, the typical blondes who gain a fake sense of self esteem by feeling wanted by guys.  That's their first mistake.  When will people (guys AND girls) realize that it's called SELF esteem for a reason?  You can't get self esteem from someone else.  You can fool yourself, sometimes very well in fact.  But if you don't know who you are, or if you aren't happy with yourself, no girl/guy is going to fix that problem for you.  All too often, people surrender their personality just for the sake of companionship, but I won't get into that now (the problems with the American dating scene are enough for ten entries).  Anyway, that's the first problem.  Of course, girls see no way to attract guys except to fit into society's impossible expectations of what the ideal woman should look like.  And this is where the real problem occurs.  Recently, my sister went to Rome, where she complained that all the men were rude and constantly made inappropriate comments to her and her friends and constantly followed them.  My first thought when I heard this was, why do the women of Rome put up with that and allow it to be part of their culture?  But, it's just the same as the superficial, "barbie" problem that we have here.  If women would stop just accepting the fact that guys are superficial and stop playing the "I wanna be barbie" game, then guys wouldn't be raised to think that it's ok to make degrading comments to women.  A perfect example of this can be seen with cheerleaders.  They whine about guys not respecting them and blah blah blah, but if they would just stop parading around in biknis all the time, maybe it wouldn't be as socially acceptable for them to be treated that way.

So the problem comes back to us, girls.  Those of us who don't have a self esteem need to get one and stop trying to live for other people.  Stop surrendering your personality and natural beauty to society, conformity, and guys for a false sense of security.  And guys, why are you letting society and girls' lack of self esteem determine what you are looking for anyway?  Stop trying to get your girl friends to lose the extra 5 lbs. or dye her hair blonde.  Maybe you should embrace her differences and those aspects of her appearance that make her look unique.  I have a cousin, who is in his late twenties and whines about how he hasn't found "the one" yet.  Yet, whenever he meets a girl, the first thing he looks for IS barbie.  The result is that he always winds up dating girls with no self esteem or personality.  Sure, those girls are decent for a few dates, but if you want to find someone with substance, stop making girls feel that the only way for them to be "acceptable" is through their looks.  It's really pathetic, and you're only reinforcing their sad lack of esteem.

The only way we're going to solve this problem is if we stop playing by society's rules.  While we stand by and accept them, we're allowing millions of women to grow up with no self esteem, sadness, and envy for something that can only exist on TV.  And girls, if we want to actually be viewed as equals in this patriarchial society, we've GOT to start demanding respect for who we are.

See?  People should just listen to me.  I've got all the solutions to society's screwedupness, the only real problem is that only about 5 people listen to me, instead of 300 million.